Imagine the soothing tones of James Liption asking these questions. My responses would be thusly:

1. What is your favorite word?
Ethereal

2. What’s your least favorite word?
Cancer (as in “You have…” which I’ve already heard once, I never want to hear it in that context ever again)

3. What turns you on?
Humor, laughter, joy, flipping over a Queen high straight flush at the poker table at the Bellagio

4. What turns you off?
Prejudice, lack of common courtesy, mean people, stupid people

5. What’s your favorite curse word?
Motherf*cker, said as one fast word (also quite partial to F*ck me or F*ck me running…)

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The laughter of my family, the Rock Chalk chant, the purring of my cats

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Angry yelling, hurtful words

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Jet fighter pilot… astronaut… Federal Agent

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Dentist… seriously, ick…

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here yet. Go back! Go! Now!